i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
