Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
