no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
