i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
