apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
