but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
smell my finger.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
