Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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