First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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