im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
