But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
