you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
