Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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