So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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