It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
