Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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