he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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