Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
