I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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