I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
