remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
