he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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