she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
