It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
