Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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