He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
