White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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