Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
His nipple licking is glorious
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