she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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