Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
