yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
