She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
