I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize