some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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