Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
