I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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