just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
