If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
