i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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