it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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