is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
