Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That's how pantless uber rides happen
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
