I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
