If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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