I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
