Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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