After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
