i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
