Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Fuck appropriateness.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
