I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
