Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize