Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
