Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
