What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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