o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
