Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
