Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
