the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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