Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
