There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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