found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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